The 260lb bounce

For those of you losing weight, do you have a number that gives you trouble?

I do, 260lbs.

I've been over that number for along time now, and every time I approach it I bounce off it like some sort of damned trampoline.

I can't tell you the number of times I've hit it, like some sort of perverse paddle ball I slam into 260, then BOING, 261, 262, 263, refocus, 262, 261, 260, 259.8 (feel the trampoline stretch...) BOING 261 262.

I'm sick of it.

So the question is why? And I hate the answer.

The answer is me.

 I focus for a few weeks, I maintain my discipline, and about the time I get near that milestone, I start to slack off. It happened again over the last couple of weeks. My commitment, particularly to healthy eating, started to slack off a bit and the hard work I had done to get down to 260 goes out the window.

The number actually means nothing. Nada, zilch. It's only in my head because I let that correlation start to convince me that somehow 260lbs is different than 261.

It isn't. It's just a number, one of many I have to work through in order to achieve my goals.

How many of your life's challenges are like that? How often do you say, "oh, that's the one I can't get past"? Are you being honest with yourself? Is it a true milestone? A true obstacle? or just something you let get into your head?

 Is it simply you?

My demonic trampoline isn't 260lbs, its my own inability to maintain the commitment required to punch through it.

I was 261.4 this morning, after being 260.2 earlier last week. When I next write this blog, my goal is to be able to tell you that I maintained my discipline, that I ate healthy, that I exercised, and that I blew a giant hole in that 260lb trampoline, and tossed it in the trash, never to see it again.

Find your obstacle, the one you can't get past, and spend the next couple weeks with me breaking through it. Come back here Feb 6th with your own tale of conquest!

Follow me on twitter @fatfitman

Motivation in 140 Characters or less, thanks @BL11Austin

Journeys of change are hard. Ask anyone who is on one or try one yourself and you'll see. If you know someone who has quit smoking, lost weight, kicked a bad habit, gone back to school, well, then you know someone who has challenged themselves and come out better for it. But take a second to appreciate just how hard a trip it was.

It's never an easy trip, and there are lots of pitfalls along the way. Lots of reasons to just go back to what is comfortable. Lot's of reasons to simply live in the now instead of being focused on your future.

And sometimes we need a little help, and sometimes it comes from surprising sources.

Earlier this week I posted a blog quoting Austin from The Biggest Loser. When I sent out a tweet tagging Austin I immediately got a response from him encouraging me. But that's not where the story ends.

The next day was hard, really hard. I didn't want to work out. I wanted to eat about half a tub of ice cream and just feel better for a minute. Then I took a quick look at my blog, I noticed that my last entry had 10X the amount of traffic I normally get. But I didn't know from where. I logged into twitter and discovered to my great joy that Austin had tweeted a link to my blog to his followers, and all these eyes had come over to read my story.

All these people, many in the same boat as me, reading about my struggles, my achievements, my journey.

And a funny thing happened. My motivation went through the roof. My next entry couldn't be about a failure. I couldn't let myself down and have to share that with everyone.

Austin, this young 20-something from California had, in under 140 characters, got me off a couch and out the door for a run.  The ice cream forgotten, a healthy snack in its place. My journey uninterrupted. The struggles of the last 6 weeks erased, I wake up this morning back to 258.6, those extra pounds shed and me ready to continue.

I know weight loss, and any self-help goal has to be motivated by your own desire to change, it has to be a little bit selfish. But sometimes we all need some help. Sometimes it's a friend with a kind word. Sometimes its a family member with nothing more than a look. Sometimes it's a quote, an image, a TV show that gets us moving.

And sometimes its a stranger, a young man, tweeting from California, who gets us going again.

Thanks Austin,  I needed that.

Fatfitman

Not all pain is gain

So chaos has reigned around my place recently. We've been battling sick kids, a leaky basement, a collapsing pool liner, and our own illnesses. Quite a 2 weeks.

To top it off I suffered a training injury about a week ago that has just been getting progressively worse. As a result I cannot do most of my strength building exercises, so my P90X routines have come to a crashing halt until my wrist heals. I can still do excerpts from them, but not the full workouts.

To top it all off my treadmill broke and now I need to have a service call on it.

I am in an excuse-rich environment. I could easily just back it in and say "it's not my fault". however, i didn't.

what i did do was pay even closer attention to what I could do. I watched my calories. i watched my choices about portions, types of food, putting myself in vulnerable situations. I reached out to my support network for help a few times.

So this morning, the leak is fixed, the kids are getting better, the service guy is coming for the treadmill soon, and hopefully by the weekend I can start moving and burning more. But, the real question I had was, how did I do through these trials?

So I stepped on the scale.

258.8

WHAT?????

258.8

I broke through that damned 260lb mark. Put it behind me..Forever.... I'm not going back over that number ever again in my life. I haven't been under 260 since probably last summer, and despite all that went on the last few weeks, I managed to find a way to slay the 260lb Guy and now am looking forward.

I feel energized, I feel proud, I feel like I overcame obstacles that would have sent me scurrying for a Burger King Whopper in the past.

Don't let your obstacles lead you to excuses. Find a way around, over or through them. You might be amazed at what you are capable of when you stop believing that you can't do something, or that something is too hard.

The sweetest victories are the ones we are surprised by, fight those tough battles my friends, the rewards are worth it!

NOTE:  I received a note from a follower asking for help. When she makes Kraft Dinner at home she almost always eats the whole box, invariably feeling guilty and a little ill afterwards. She wanted to know how to avoid that.  Well, besides not cooking it (or having it in the house to start with) I would suggest the following. As soon as it's ready, take the pot, walk over to your trash and throw half of it away. Don't wait until you taste it and start to be seduced by the processed cheesy salty goodness. If you must have it, force yourself to limit it by getting rid of half before you even start.

If anyone has any other questions I'll try to answer them in future entries. 

Temptations, turning 39 and the Biggest Loser

Turned 39 today...A good chance to reflect on my 30's and think about all that changed for me. Interesting to note, I turned 30, weighed 268lbs, got separated, changed careers, moved back home, got divorced, lost weight (210!), met new girl, got engaged, got married, gained weight(240), shattered right leg, lost weight(220) changed careers, had first child, gained weight (250), had second child, turned 39 weighing..268lbs!

Seems a bit like a treadmill, but I'll tell you honestly, despite the fact my weight is the same, there is not one part of my life that is not better now than it was 10 years ago. I am thrilled with my life, maybe not with my weight and wellness, but with a great family, a supportive wife, a good job, now is the time I can concentrate on the changes I need to make.

Birthdays bring new temptations, I want my big steak dinner tonight, but I think I'll get some light thai food instead. My wife and daughter thoughtfully made a low-fat cake for me, and I'll be very mindful of the portions.

My big present? A night at a Toronto Maple Leaf hockey game. Tomorrow night in fact. Stadiums and I are not good from an eating perspective, so I'm going out to dinner before the game to better regulate my options, and hopefully come through the next couple of days with my weight unscathed.

The Biggest loser season 11 started last night. I love watching this show for the motivation and, honestly, the cautionary example. Two things stood out for me. One was a contestant who spoke of watching the show for years and always judging the people on it for their weight issues. He was very emotional when he took the scale and had to admit he was one of them. It is a lesson to us all that we should be mindful of how we perceive others, how we judge them, how we react to them. It is a slippery slope from us to them sometimes, and a real wakeup call when you hit the bottom of that slope.

The second thing that stood out was a contestant that commented how most people guess his weight wrong, he weighs over 400lbs, most people guess him around 300. This happens to a lot of us who are overweight. When I announced I was doing this, and said my starting weight was 272.4, people were stunned. Most had me 230-240. I tell people who don't know my weight I want to lose 50lbs, just to start, and they think I am nuts, that it is too much.

We can be deceived by these attitudes, we can allow those around us who tell us its ok, that we aren't "that" big, that we don't need to lose "that" much, we can allow them  to shape our self-image and change it to a false one. We can say things about having a "real" body, that we like our curves, our love handles, our booty. I liked being the big guy. But it was false. All lies. Step on a scale, get a body fat analysis, try and run 1 mile. See if you are really where you think you are, where you want to be.

No, we don't all need to look like cover models, but we need to be honest with ourselves, we need friends to be honest with us, and us with them. If you can honestly look at yourself, and be perfectly happy, I congratulate you, don't lose that, do what you have to do to maintain it and be a model for others.

If, like me, you can't do that, then make this the day that the self-deception ends. Don't wait, start today, do it now, make the changes. Say goodbye to that person in the mirror and don't look back.